True Facts about NutriSystem Part 1 (Fundamental Lessons Learned)

Disclaimer:  I'm not a nutritional expert.  I am not a representative of NutriSystem and have not been compensated by them in any way.  I have had success with a this particular program and people have asked me about it and my journey so I figured I'd share a few things.  

True Facts about NutriSystem.  Part 1:  Fundamental Lessons Learned

   4000 words into writing about my journey, I reckoned that it might be better if I broke it into chunks, for easier consumption.  This will serve as a bit of an appetizer, addressing, at a high level, the things I have gleaned from the experience.  For folks who are also interested in the personal journey side of the story, that will be covered in Part 2.  

Almost seven months into this journey and an annoying ½ pound away from my goal of losing 50 pounds, what have I learned about NutriSystem? 

• ·        The program works.  Adherence to the program is key.  There are no “cheat” days.  The program’s success is mathematic.  The packages foods and guides for snacks and flex meals (lunches or dinners made on your own with very specific portions and guidelines) provide enough calories to function in a healthy way but less than a normal body typically uses per day.  Ultimately, all weight loss is about math.  Burn more calories than you take in.  It’s a simple formula.  You don’t have to add work out but you cannot be completely sedentary.  This is a good program to combine with fitbit goals or other step/activity trackers. 
• ·        The food is not great.  Some of it isn’t bad and a there are a few things that are pretty good and I actually really like to eat.  As a foodie (one of the perks of life on the road is you do get a chance to eat some really great food, plus my husband is an excellent chef), it is a difficult sacrifice to eat mediocre food.  The good news is the portions are small so you don’t have to eat a lot of it.  Don't let one nasty tasting option keep you from trying others.  I’ll provide a review of the ones I always order but you pretty much have to figure out what you like or can at least tolerate.  
• ·        Getting the recommended 5 servings of veggies in throughout the day is a saving grace of the program.  You can actually pretty much eat as many non-starchy veggies as you want.  I love vegetables, so this really works for me.  When I am home, I always have celery, carrots, cucumbers, baby peppers and/or cherry tomatoes to snack on throughout the day or add to my official morning or afternoon snacks.  I’m not super inclined to do food prepping but with a mandolin slicer I can slice up 4 large cucumbers in a 5 minutes.  Celery just needs washing and a few chops and it’s ready.  And to be frank, I can get lazy about celery and will buy the already prepped packages at the grocery store.  I’m not proud of this but it keeps me on program.  I also buy the “baby” carrots—all peeled and cut and ready to eat.  I’m not going to chop carrots.  I needed easy.  These are ways to keep it easy.  We also buy a lot of good frozen veggies and steam them for family dinners.  I will use them to supplement NutriSystem dinners and with “flex meals”.   The freedom with veggies is helpful when I’m on the road and have to eat out with clients.  Big salads, no dressing, little or no cheese are my go to meals when I have to eat out on the road. 
• ·        Snacks are essential to your success.  With them, you eat six times a day and you rarely feel deprived or hungry.  Don’t skip the snacks to speed up the weight loss.  You will just get hungry, then hangry and then are more likely to struggle sticking with the program.  For your morning snack, it is recommended that you have what they call a power fuel.  Power fuels are things like their TurboShake, a serving of fat-free yogurt or cottage cheese, a stick of fat-free string cheese, a boiled egg, or 2 tablespoons of peanut butter or guacamole or hummus, or two tablespoons of almonds, pecans and other tree nuts.  When I travel I make snack bags of almonds and pecans.  In a pinch, it’s not too hard to find snack sized bags of nuts at convenience stores or in airports, though sometimes you have to save half the bag for later.  At home I usually combine a power fuel like peanut butter, guacamole, hummus, or cottage cheese with celery, carrots, cucumbers and/or peppers.  They make very satisfying snacks.  Afternoon snacks are supposed to be made up of a power fuel and a smart carb.  Fruits fall into the smart carb category, as well as some grains and breads.  On the road, I don’t always get my smart carb, but the power fuel of nuts carries me through until dinner.  At home, I like to combine a TurboShake with fresh or frozen fruit.  It’s really yummy and almost feels like something as decadent as a milkshake.   Almost.
• ·        Portions are important.  This process was a huge reminder to me as to what healthy portions look like.  We all know nuts are supposed to be healthy but learning what two tablespoons looks like and sticking to that is an important lesson.  It has been an important refresher to my thought about healthy foods.  Just because something is good for you, it does not mean you can eat as much as you want of it or that it counters less healthy choices.  I’m looking at you guacamole and hummus.  I love them but a serving of guac is 2 tablespoons, not 2 cups and all the chips you can use to accompany it.  I still eat guacamole, but in proper portions and pair it with celery, carrots or cucumbers.  It’s a great power fuel.  One day I’ll eat chips again, but only enough to get through 2 tablespoons of guac, and not until the bowl is empty.  The other significant place portions come into play is with proteins in general.  I love steak, and my husband, a devout meatatarian, loves to make it.  His steaks are the best in town, possibly the state.  So for my flex meals, I will have some of his wonderfully prepared steaks, cut in half, because a real portion is only 3 ounces not 6 or 8, and I save the other half to put in a salad for lunch or dinner the next day.  When I’m on the road and order a salad with chicken or steak, I only eat 3 ounces of it and leave the rest.  It’s not easy, especially when it’s delicious but it’s been important to me in retraining myself to pay attention to what a real portion looks like.
• ·        Alcohol is not recommended with the program.  However, I looked at the ingredients in all of the sweet NutriSystem packaged snacks intended for your evening snacks and the calories, total carbs (and net carbs), sugars and other ingredients showed nothing that suggested they were better for you than a glass of wine or beer (or cider, in my case).  I’m not saying imbibe to heart’s content, but occasional substituting your program snack with one normal glass of wine or a beer isn’t going to wreck you or your diet plan.  I don’t recommend having both the snack or the wine, unless you’ve been burning a heck of a lot of extra calories that day. 
• ·        You can cut yourself some slack and enjoy special occasions when they arise.  However, don’t lose your mind.  Make smart choices.  Take smaller portions, enough to get a taste of deliciousness but without blowing all your hard work. 
• ·        The NutriSystem program offers online tools and apps and even hardcopy journals for tracking intake and choices.  I didn’t use them except to occasionally report my weight and measurements.  They are good tools, and could be very helpful to someone who is motivated by that sort of information.  I have been pretty religious about sticking to program and didn’t want one more task to obsess about. 
• ·        This is not a fast fix.  You drop a bit quickly in the beginning because the change in diet can be dramatic, and water and whatnot is lost early.  But your body level sets and that’s okay.  The slow and steady process makes it possible to reset your head as well as your body.  You have time to get used to making different, healthier choices.  You have time to learn what portions look like.  You have time to appreciate the little and big changes in your body.  You have time to learn new ways of preparing favorites and how to eat at a buffet.  You have time to get rid of the clothes you shrink out of so that you are more motivated to keep progressing and maintain your weight once you reach your goals.  

Why celebrate International Women's Day?

I love being a woman. I love being a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a girl friend, a woman in the enterprise technology industry, a great employee, a great co-worker, a Girl Scout leader, a nurturer and a protector. I have battled misogyny, ignorance, and sexism, and I have come out on the winning end. I do not feel a need to sit out today for anyone important to me to appreciate my worth. 

However, I am celebrating International Women's Day. 

Why celebrate International Women’s Day?

Because the software industry still holds strong to a mindset that women don’t make great programmers despite the fact that Ada Lovelace is the person who created the fundamental concepts that created the industry. 

Because Hedy Lamarr, who invented a great number of things, including the technology that laid the path for cellular and WiFi technology, is primarily remember by the world, for being extraordinarily beautiful. 

Because it is not well known that Marie Skłodowska Curie was not only the first person to win two Nobel prizes in two different disciplines (and numerous other recognitions, despite best efforts to keep them from her), she also raised a daughter, Irene Joliot-Curie who won a Nobel prize in Chemistry. 

Because CJ Walker, the first female, self-made millionaire, an African American, is merely a footnote, if noted at all and not a household name.

Because we have Rosalind Franklin to thank for our understanding of DNA, yet male counterparts tried hard to bury that.

Because SE Hinton and JK Rowling and other women authors were told use their initials instead of their actual names so their incredible books would stand a chance of being read. 

Because 3 of the 4 female NASA engineers I met last month had not heard of Katherine Johnson until the movie Hidden Figures came out. Because this country didn’t know about their national treasures from NASA until the book and, really, until the movie came out.

Because, despite the incredible contributions women have made to the advancement and success of the world we know, they are relegated to being footnotes in our history and our headlines, if we get any mention at all.

Because despite the incredible opportunities and choices women in many countries, including the U.S. enjoy, there are women in other parts of the world who are forbidden formal education, who are not allowed to drive or even leave their house without a male chaperone,  who are married off before they reach puberty and who are readily put to death for being an inconvenience to their families. 

Because women make up roughly 50% of the world population, yet even in this country, are classified as a minority. 

Why International Women’s Day? 

Because we all, women and men, deserve to know more about our shared history and shared contributions. Because we all, women and men, are made better when we recognize and appreciate the intrinsic value of one another. Because there is still much progress to be made.

Truth About Santa

E, my 9 year old, told me she had something she needed to talk with me about privately.
 She told me that last year she was looking in the dresser of the guest bedroom for some craft thing or another and had found the same fabric Santa had used on her beanbag cover. And she recalled a time on Christmas eve when she'd got up to get water and came to look for me to me to snuggle with her and got a glimpse of me in the family room surrounded by Target bags. So (with a deep sigh), she wanted to know if Santa was real.
I looked her straight in the eyes and said what I believe to be true, "Yes."
 Then I asked her if she thought Santa was a man who lived in the North Pole and was surrounded by elves. And she shook her head. She asked if Santa was just someone who gave parents the presents and the parents put them under the tree. I told her not exactly, but sometimes; in her house her mommy and daddy get the things for her and her sister.
I told her Santa is a spirit, a feeling of joy of giving and fun and delight. It's what makes parents want to create fun surprises and feelings of magic and mystery. It is also the spirit that makes people want to give in a big and special way.
 We talked about the origins of St. Nicholas who gave out of the joy in his heart and willingness to share in his abundance. And how he was inspired by the great love and generosity of God.
 I told her the spirit that is Santa Claus isn't just something that mommies and daddies share but it is what makes people give so much of themselves, especially this time of year. It's what makes people, who sometimes aren't even Christian, go out and pay off the layaways (I explained what that was) for total strangers who would never know who did this generous thing, so that they could give their families a nice Christmas. It is a fun and magical thing.
 I then explained that, ultimately, behind all magic is a person or people, meaning people make magic happen. And that magic and miracles were different things. People can make magic but only God can make miracles.
"So you are the one who moves Samantha [our elf]?" she said. "Yes," I confessed.
"I thought so."
 She was actually relieved. The questions of a curious and clever child were weighing heavily on her. Her love of believing conflicted with her ability to logically make smart connections, She was actually very happy to learn the truth about Santa.
 I asked her if she enjoyed all the magic and mystery and fun. She said "Yes." So we talked about how important it is to not spoil the magic and mystery for anyone else--especially her little sister. She asked if she could still have Santa. I asked if she believed and she smiled broadly, "yes."
Then I told her now that she knew the secret she could sometimes help make the magic. She liked that very much.

I wasn't looking forward to this day, and I'm a little sad it's here, but I'm so pleased she understands the truth and can feel very confident in saying she does believe in Santa and knows Santa is real.

I see YOU.

I see you.

I was not raised color blind, rather raised to believe that superficial attributes like skin pigment, eye color, hair color, height, shape of eyes, length of nose, size of ears, how many toes one has or any other exterior characteristics said nothing about the content of one’s character.  And I was raised that everyone, regardless of those exterior features were worthy of love and respect. 

And I see you.  I see that your skin is the color of chestnut and your eyes are hazel and your thick curls are deep, shade of auburn and your cheeks are freckled.  And with those features I know that you and I share more than a few things—we both have more allergies than most of our friends and family, and possibly some weird ones.  I, with my ginger waves and gray eyes and pale, freckled skin, know that we share something beyond the superficial—down at the genetic level because all people with the genes that turn our hair red, any shade, are the result of a genetic combination that manifests externally and internally.  I know you’ve endured a special level of teasing that red hair inspires.  I know you know what it’s like to be a minority within a minority.  So I know that about you and because we share those superficial things, I already have started to have an affinity for you.

But I don’t know you.  Yet.  So I’m listening. I hear you speak of Jesus or Allah or going to Temple and I begin to understand more about you.  You mention your age, and I think to my knowledge of history and what you may or may not be familiar with having experiences different decades.  I hear your accent and I ask, because I want to know more about you, not to diminish you or point out your otherness, where you are from.  You say northern California or southern Texas, or Scotland or Eritrea and I get a better picture of experiences that might have shaped you and a perspective that I might learn from.  I ask about family and relationships, because those are often important to people and what you say adds to understanding of you and might lead to more things we might have in common.

But I don’t know you.  Yet.  So I’m listening and I’m watching.  I hear you speak at work or see you at school events with your children or see you at church or on the soccer pitch coaching my girls or on the dance floor, or at political rallies or at the airport expertly rerouting me after a cancellation.  I read the articles you share, look at the pictures you post, the artists you like and the comments you make, to glean some of your perspective and better understand what influences and motivates you.  I appreciate your skills, your efforts, your hard work, your thankless work, your brilliant work, your charm, your humor, your style, your smile, and your occasional bouts of crankiness or even fiery temper.

And while I don’t know everything about you, I am adding up the things I do know, the things I have seen and building my image of you as an individual, a uniquely and beautifully and wonderfully made person.  And that is how I see you.  And I continually work on forming that image as I learn more, by listening and watching and interacting with you, so that I can know you better.  You are who I see.

So I struggle with generalizations that everyone who has skin like this or is this gender or has that sexual preference or goes to that church or supports this candidate or dress in this way or is from this economic class or comes from this neighborhood or works that kind of job or is originally from that country is supposed to be or act or think the same. That has never been my experience with the people I have known, and I have be fortunate enough to travel broadly and live many places and meet many, many different people. 

I see you and I know you are the sum of many things, many experiences and all your own.  And I want to know you at that level, so I approach you, not always without some bias, because I’m flawed and shaped by experience too, but with a desire to find our commonalities and what we can both newly perceive or rethink through a better understanding of our sameness and our differences. 

I see you.  

Sad Anniversary

There are days when your heart is rent so badly that you are left with a hole that can never be filled. You learn to navigate the hole and eventually it gets easier to get around. But it is always there. 
This day, the anniversary of my mother's passing, even after more than 20 years, always finds me at the edges of tears all day (and, frequently, in tears). My mother was a singularly gentle, kind and loving person. Though she held my sister and me to high standards, her love and affection was given freely and without condition.
It is incredibly good fortune have had such an amazing mother and incredible example of how to be a positive part of the world.
She continues to be with me, always--in my relationships with others, my work ethic, my sense of duty and responsibility, in the personalities of my children and my understanding of the great power of love.
She is not here, though. And that feels unfair. Yet, my life is pretty wonderful--the life she would want for me. And that's more than fair.
This day, though...

It's the little things and they're all connected. And so are we.

This morning was extra on the crazy--I had a client presentation a 8:30.  In my rush to E to school and back home to do the presentation, I didn't get a chance to get an extra big, I'm going away for 3 days sort of hug.  And as soon a I returned, I went straight to my office to set up for the client meeting.  So when it was time for my husband to take B to school, all I got a chance to do was to blow her a kiss good-bye.  My husband got the same.  Not a single proper good-bye hug for or from any of them.

After my demo for the client, I was feeling rather sad.  But I had no time to dwell on it.  Another online meeting was attended and a then I still had to pack.  

As I was packing I took a long look at the pink toiletries bag I've used for probably a decade now.  It was given to me by one of my best girlfriends back when I lived in the DC area.  I realized I was wearing the sea glass earring given to me by one of my other best girlfriends from DC.  These two women were a huge part of my life from my early 20s to my mid 30s.  For some totally me reason the toiletry bag and earrings in combination filled me with nostalgia and felt strangely like a gentle hug from far away.  I made a mental note that I really needed to write these two ladies, who also have crazy busy lives balancing families and careers of their own, and remind them how much I love them and how there a little pieces of them (from the gifts they've given and pictures we've taken) all over my home and some that I keep with me much of the time.  These line of thought made me both happy and sad (I really miss these ladies).

By the time I left the house, I was feeling very blue--already missing my babies and my mister (I did get to give a proper good-bye to our dog, but she just made me feel guilty for leaving her) and missing my DC friends.  And I had a giant list of undone things running through my head.  

Getting to the airport I was utterly unexcited about my trip and a touch mopey.  When I boarded my flight I was definitely not feeling social.  I hoped the totally full flight would be very quick.

When the passenger in the seat next to me boarded, he was clearly agitated.  His body language said "GRRR."  I probably noticeably sighed when he sat down.  Though, he probably did not notice the sigh because he was wrapped up in his crankiness.  As soon as he sat down, he got on his phone and called someone to rant about how cranky he was in language that would get his conversation an "R" rating.  

When he got of his phone he looked at me and said, "I like your earrings.  What is that?  Sea-glass?"

"Yes, it is," I replied.  Cranky-man's demeanor changed slightly.  He started to tell me about his fond memories of gathering sea-glass on the beach where he lived in Hawaii.  I asked which island.  He tells me, he grew up on Kauai, pointing out the his tattoo of the island mixed in with all the other ink on his hand.  I told him I'd lived on Oahu when I was in intermediate school and a starting high school.  His previously tense posture had dramatically changed for the better.  We chat a while about our island experiences.  We're the same age, it turns out.  And it turns out our overlapping time in Hawaii was not our only thing in common, we also live in San Francisco at the same time as well.  We had a good conversation about fun times in our younger days.  We continued on to talk about all the cool things our little corner of Alabama has to offer and how we just smile when our friends from out of state question our choice.  

He said, "Isn't if funny how we have all these common threads?  I'm so glad I said something about the earrings.  I was in such a bad mood and mad at everyone when I got on the plane but now I'm feeling good with all these happy memories."  I told him I'd appreciated the compliment and the conversation, too.  It had lightened my mood as well.  

Paying a stranger a compliment is such a little thing but it can pay dividends, for the receiver and the giver.  And if we stop to notice little things like earrings or wicked cool ink or some other unique aspect of that stranger sitting/standing next us, we might find how much we really have in common, how connected we are.  And there's a lot of warm, fuzzy, mood-changing goodness to feeling connected.  It's a little thing, but it's all good.

I'm 43 and totally believe in Santa Claus.

I know why we celebrate Christmas. I teach my children that the day is a celebration of the birth of Christ, God's gift (of salvation and so much more) to the world. It's a beautiful and important holiday to me. That gift wasn't small and it's eternal. There is no gift so great or so worthy of celebration.

Still, in our house Santa is part of the broader celebration. For my kids, Santa is a jolly man, with elves and a wonderful sort of magic, who celebrates the eve of the greatest gift by giving.

For me, Santa is the magic of wonder and whimsy and fun and the joys of giving and receiving. Santa is the spirit that makes even skeptics and non-believers make contributions so that others might happily celebrate those joys and know that magic. Santa is the spirit that inspires people to anonymously pay off thousands of dollars of layaways or deliver baskets of food or sing happy songs for people in need of company and cheer. 

We cannot give the way God gives. But Santa's story is of just a person, slightly flawed but decidedly loving and spilling over with so much joy that it could not be kept within, but had to be given away for the delight of others. Santa is attainable--anyone can be Santa. So Santa can and does exist any place in which someone believes. And if I live to be 100 I will continue believe in Santa and the fun factor of Christmas.

My children have asked why Santa doesn't leave anything for me.  I've explained that's it is because I have super potty mouth and a tendency to yell that really needs to be worked on. Since I'm trying to work on these things, I don't get coal or switches, so it's cool.