There are days when your heart is rent so badly that you are left with a hole that can never be filled. You learn to navigate the hole and eventually it gets easier to get around. But it is always there.
This day, the anniversary of my mother's passing, even after more than 20 years, always finds me at the edges of tears all day (and, frequently, in tears). My mother was a singularly gentle, kind and loving person. Though she held my sister and me to high standards, her love and affection was given freely and without condition.
It is incredibly good fortune have had such an amazing mother and incredible example of how to be a positive part of the world.
She continues to be with me, always--in my relationships with others, my work ethic, my sense of duty and responsibility, in the personalities of my children and my understanding of the great power of love.
She is not here, though. And that feels unfair. Yet, my life is pretty wonderful--the life she would want for me. And that's more than fair.
This day, though...
It’s a crazy balancing act trying to be a good mommy, employee, wife, friend & healthy person. People ask how I do it. I don't know, except that I refuse to not make it work. I do falter; but my girls think I can do almost anything, so I try to live up to their expectations even when I don't know what I'm doing. I hope to encourage all moms to try things even if they aren't sure where to begin.